I DARE YOU TO LIVE IN YOUR OWN SKIN by Kevin Hillman
Contrary to popular belief, many black men and boys struggle with identity issues. For many, this continues to be an issue, whether young or old. I believe the reason many black men and boys struggle with their identity is because we are born with an identity being forced upon us from our families and societal misrepresentation. As black men and boys, exploring this idea of “individuality” may be rare because of the unique nature of the black community, largely being collectivistic amid an individualistic society. Pair this collectivist nature of our community with how society portrays us as drug dealers, hypersexualized, and super predators; no wonder we struggle with the question “Who Am I”?
As a black man, I can admit that I struggled with identity issues. For many years, I wrestled with the questions “Who Am I”? Where do I fit? Why do I always stand out? I spent so much of my younger years trying to fit different molds and always found myself living in disappointment because it never worked. Trying to navigate the space of black and “other” is hard, as a kid, teenager, and even as an adult. When I use the term “other” I am referring to anything that lives outside of the realm of “acceptable” for black men, things such as a different sexuality, lover of science fiction, highly focused on academics, and so forth.
Being a black man that has and is living in the realm of black and “other”, one of the most important moments in my life is when I accepted me for who I was. I was 25 years old when I arrived at the understanding of “self” and “Who I Was”. I remember looking at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes and saying, “This is who I am”. It has been seven years since that day and I have made it a personal mission to live authentically every day of my life. I’ve learned to walk with my head held high, when I speak I can capture a room, I have confidence, I got love for myself, and most of all I have encouraged other people to live their own authentic lives.
So, as the title of this piece states, I DARE YOU TO LIVE IN YOUR SKIN. I challenge you to spend time getting to know yourself and asking the hard question “Who Am I”, not who my family wants me to be and not who society portrays me to be. By no means am I saying that this will take place overnight but the sooner you begin the journey the less energy and time you will lose trying to be something you’re not. The best decision you can ever make is getting to know you and accepting yourself.
About the Author:
Kevin Hillman is currently pursuing his Ph.D. in Urban Education Studies at Indiana University-Purdue University, where he also works as a Graduate Assistant for the Office of Community Engagement: Family, School and Neighborhood. Kevin recently founded a federally recognized charitable organization, Educate, Empower, Expose (E3), Inc. in Indianapolis, IN. He currently holds the position of Executive Director, working to build the organization from the ground up and begin operation. In addition to his current educational and career pursuits, Kevin holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication from Purdue University and a Master of Arts degree from Roosevelt University. If you want to connect with Kevin via social media head on over to Facebook and reach out!
As a black man, I can admit that I struggled with identity issues. For many years, I wrestled with the questions “Who Am I”? Where do I fit? Why do I always stand out? I spent so much of my younger years trying to fit different molds and always found myself living in disappointment because it never worked. Trying to navigate the space of black and “other” is hard, as a kid, teenager, and even as an adult. When I use the term “other” I am referring to anything that lives outside of the realm of “acceptable” for black men, things such as a different sexuality, lover of science fiction, highly focused on academics, and so forth.
Being a black man that has and is living in the realm of black and “other”, one of the most important moments in my life is when I accepted me for who I was. I was 25 years old when I arrived at the understanding of “self” and “Who I Was”. I remember looking at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes and saying, “This is who I am”. It has been seven years since that day and I have made it a personal mission to live authentically every day of my life. I’ve learned to walk with my head held high, when I speak I can capture a room, I have confidence, I got love for myself, and most of all I have encouraged other people to live their own authentic lives.
So, as the title of this piece states, I DARE YOU TO LIVE IN YOUR SKIN. I challenge you to spend time getting to know yourself and asking the hard question “Who Am I”, not who my family wants me to be and not who society portrays me to be. By no means am I saying that this will take place overnight but the sooner you begin the journey the less energy and time you will lose trying to be something you’re not. The best decision you can ever make is getting to know you and accepting yourself.
About the Author:
Kevin Hillman is currently pursuing his Ph.D. in Urban Education Studies at Indiana University-Purdue University, where he also works as a Graduate Assistant for the Office of Community Engagement: Family, School and Neighborhood. Kevin recently founded a federally recognized charitable organization, Educate, Empower, Expose (E3), Inc. in Indianapolis, IN. He currently holds the position of Executive Director, working to build the organization from the ground up and begin operation. In addition to his current educational and career pursuits, Kevin holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communication from Purdue University and a Master of Arts degree from Roosevelt University. If you want to connect with Kevin via social media head on over to Facebook and reach out!
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